Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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