Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
