I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
