dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
