I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
wow bdsm is so cute
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
