How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
