I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
