why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
this is an emotional support booty call
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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