Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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