And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
