Acid is not a monday night drug
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
