We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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