Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
