I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
