Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
