Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
