Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
