marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
