I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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