9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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