What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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