Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
