I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
