it wasn't lemon gatorade
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
