Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
