So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
