i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He felt like a one man threesome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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