At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
