Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
