The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
