I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
