Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
