that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
