I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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