Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I forget how to act sober
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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