Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
