She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
