you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
