Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
