So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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