living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
