I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
do herpes really smell.
vagina is talking i cant
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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