haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
