Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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