Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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