everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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