Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
