What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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