sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
