Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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