So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
