when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You need Xanax blowdarts
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
