he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
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Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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