I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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